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ForgottenU769
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Name: Tony
Country: United States
State: Michigan
Metro: Detroit
Gender: Male
Interests: My interests are going and hanging out with friends, trying to get my so-called life together, and watch sports/play video games, thats all I can think of
Expertise: Watching me do backflips in my little dreamworld
Occupation: Student
Message: message me
AIM:  MotorTGrader
Yahoo:  tdogg769
Member Since:
12/22/2004
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| Ok so I have been boggling all of this shit in my head for a very long time...and I am just holding everything in and its not helping me, its not making me feel like im healthy...so heres the rant, like it or not
I am so fucking mad at myself for continuously helping out people that dont want to help themselves. I seem to honestly extend my hand for morrow support, try and be that guy that says "hey you need to talk to me, im here" and it seems like I hear some of the same shit everytime it rattles out of there mouths. I am a person to listen and be the nice guy and say "well it will be ok, and {insert there issues here}", or the "I dont know what to tell you" when in reality I just want to tell them "Im sick of hearing the same stuff OVER and OVER and OVER again, please bitch to someone else about it". But in my mind, I feel like its in my blood and im obligated to sit there and listen to people complain about there same problems cause if I dont, they wont even give a damn to listen to me whenever I need someone to be there for me. Its been the same problems for years on end, and quite frankly, im sick and tired of dealing with all of this shit. I am one person, and I am a very angry person at allowing myself to continulously put up with the same shit for years on end and not taking stands on issues that should have been ended years ago. This is basically to explain that if you have a problem and want to talk to me and I havent heard it from your mouth 20 times before, please feel free and talk to me, if your just going to keep bringing the same old problems up, stay the hell away cause I no longer need it.
Next, for everyone who feels everytime I want to make any sort of oh I dont know, comments or just funny ass shit and put it on my Facebook or Myspace Bullentins, I appreciate the comments back...but when you into personal stabs with me and my "what I need to do in my life" and its NOT a "hey I need advice" status or bullentin, then be fully prepared for me to start making stabs at U back. Most of you have fuck ups in your own life and I am not a person who goes out there and makes it my goal to shred your issues, your sure as fuck arent going to do it to me anymore. Now I am no Mr. Prefect, I indeed make mistakes and on rare occasions, I make make a joke stab at someone, but I usually get shit back and its all in fun...I see times on here though that alot of people want to make there point that I dont have certain things going well in my life and so be it....but be warned, you want to come at me with shit, im going to come back with the same old shit back, and see how annoying and childish that is.
Next, the best things in life is just to live and be happy right? And so right now, im not currently in the most happiest of states, and I like the fact that some people have come out and have asked for there concern to help me out. But to somewhat relate to the 1st paragraph of venting, this is to everyone to feel that its necessery to come to me to bitch but when I need u to vent to, your TOO busy with your life...and no im not talking about life shit, im talking about "just bored on myspace/facebook", I respect the people that make there 9-5 and have other shit going on in there lives...but to those who are just dee de dee and feel like its not worth commenting or txt or calling back to see how things are going...then expect that back next time u come crying to me. It just seems like those selected few want to go and do that, more power to you...but when u try and come back at me whenever ur wheepin at your pillow, u can go fuck urself.
And lastly, I have had a pretty rough last week, I just attended a viewing of a old HS Classmate, and to see how everyone was acting familywise and to see peoples reactions and hear "life was too short for him" made me realize that it is too short sometimes...this is not an attack on anyone, this is just me venting in general here..I just want to understand why sometimes the life "kick in the ass" takes a death, a freak accident, losing it all to sometimes realize everything? I never thought about life as something to take advantage of, but when you see someone who was just 2 days older than you pass away, it kinda makes you sit back and think about everything. Its very hard for me to sit back and wonder where I truely went wrong with some of my life goals, cause in the end, if I didnt fail, would it give me any reason to succeed? What is the "life purpose"? Everyones perpestive is different in one way/shape/form...I think ive tried to follow life by the instructional manual thats ment for a normal life in adulthood "work/pay bills/repeat", but everytime im on that track, something just derails me from that...but is that really the "life purpose"? Of course you gotta work, of course you gotta pay bills, of course in due time u get married and have kids and become even more responsible then you already are, but what "purpose" does that even do? If you live life once, why follow the path that in reality, leads to where you dont want to be in the end? Im not saying that life has to be just fun cause that is ovious with how things are in our society and life, its just not going to happen that way...but you would think that maybe someone can explain your "life purpose" and so u can figure it all out...then thats when reality sets in...your mumblings and rantings into nothing are just that...nothing...unless your spoonfed from birth or win the lottery, your "life purpose" is to just follow the book and hope you can make some extra chapters along the way. I never really got it until now...I thought maybe there was another system around it, but there isnt...put a number next to the age, and unless you get it, you can be in the same mindset as someone half your age, or you could be even smarter than someone twice as old, or you could just be leading your "life purpose" and u just get opionated about it along the way. I basically have told myself several times that maybe all of this shit...all of these problems....all of what has so far led me to the point im at is all my fault, my doing, me being wrong...or is it my "life purpose"? Maybe this is what im here for...to just walk along this path and hope it just gets better cause if not...well you decide, cause I cant anymore...
I am for the 1st time in my adultlife truely stuck in a crossroad trying to find a way to get myself out of it w/out trying to reach for a lifeline for anyones help...im lost, plain and simple, but I have my issues with people, I have my issues with comments, I have my issues with people not giving back there help, and I have my issues on the "life purpose", but all in all...I for the 1st time in adulthood can sit here and say...I need to help me here for awhile before I help anyone else under any means necessery.
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| Its been several months again since I last updated....and most people are wondering if this is the...wait no one reads this anymore...I do...but its like...look at the other options
Myspace
Facebook
Twitter
MyYearBook
etc...
So why even update anymore? I guess when I get the time, ill just do a update worth putting on here...
Oh and if you wanna know what happen in April, May, and June
I did do a few things that I could mention, maybe help out with whats going on...but not worth explaining right now, whenever ill get to it...yay on not doing what I wanted to do this year, 6 months and I fail again
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| So the question of the day for me is this, "Can a Dream Truely change how you think about things?"
Well take last night...I was thinkin about alot of shit for some reason before I went to bed, like I wasnt depressed, just didnt know what exactly I wanted to do with my life...and I slept and had this horrible but felt like true dream, and heres how it went.
*I was at this shop, and I was sitting down at a table folding paper, like trying to fold it in 2 different places, and I had 2 people yell at me and tell me that it isnt creased enough. I ask the boss what im doing wrong and the person just tells me to "Keep folding!", while I keep doing it, I get my check...open it up to have it be $200.35 *how in the fuck I remember that, I have no idea*, but I was so fustrated that I went home all pissed off and told alexis all about it and asked why am I stuck here and she told me "maybe you should have went back to school when you had all that downtime, but you chose to sit there and do nothing"...and I was so shocked and distrought, I sat on the couch and wondered why...*
Then I woke up, realizing that this shit was just a dream, and now maybe this is just a wake up call for me...having to actually look at things in a different light...maybe go back to school after all and make something of my life since the trade I went into *Printing* is a dying trade and the last 2 places I got laid off from were out of buisness or slowing heading that way...so maybe this is my second chance at things...im 26, no kids, no debt...I have time to do this...I just hope I can think like this for awhile, problem is with me, I seem to take the good thoughts and fade them out after awhile...I got some work to do, some schools to look into...im changing, I need to
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| March 16th to Present Day *March 26th*- Not many events occured from Monday to Wendsday of last week, I mainly stayed home, I got some food on some of the days...I was thinking of going out for St. Patties Day *Tuesday* but never did...I just was in a real anti-social mode...Wendsday I went to Dinner with my mom and brothers at Pizza Hut in Canton...wierd enough, my Uncle and his wife showed up and we all ended up eating dinner together, which was a nice touch knowing that it was unplanned....then around 1am me and Joe went to Dennys and we ate and BS'd for a bit...then Thursday was Tourneytime....I went to B Dubs for quite awhile with some people and watched some college basketball...it was a funtime..went to Leemers to watch the Michigan victory vs Clemson!, I was happy....then I went home and chilled out...Friday I stayed home w/sean here and watched Tourney games all day...Saturday I was here for awhile, then we went to one of Alexis 500 family events lol...went there, had a pretty solid time...then went to my dads house and hung there for the night, collected my Baseball $ *Finally!*, and went from there...well went to MotorCity Casino where I lose $50 of the $70 I got from winning, which wasnt that bad...then Sunday I watched some Tourney Games and Nascar...yeaahhhh boyyyy! Then did my Fant Baseball draft that night...and damn my team blows! Lets hope im wrong. Monday-Wendsday, alot of staying home besides going out and eating which means *Monday-Brays, Tuesday-Max and Ermas, Wendsday-McDs*...ok your updated, and stay tuned, changes will come! *Hopefully*
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| Yes I know...its been almost a month again...yes its been to the point where I kept track every single day and now all of the sudden ive fallen back to the same ol trap I usually do...partially has to do with me not giving a shit about stuff and procrastonating about almost everything...kinda annoying, but I do it and its stupid on my part, but ill live and learn I guess. So how exactly are we suppose to update every single day since last Feb 17th? Im not...im just gonna do what some people do and give ya the *skinny*
Well the rest of that week was just alot of hanging out, going out...Ryan and Jesse were still together and having there issues...people tried talked about getting them help...well they just didnt it in time or something cause a week later they broke up. Bur as for the week that was....we did some Wii bowling that Thursday....Friday me and Scott went to Greektown, and I broke even...which was awsome in my end...since I walked down with $100....spent a few bucks that weekend...watched some NASCAR on Sunday...nothing huge that weekend...well that week *Feb 17th-Feb 22nd*
*Feb 23rd-March 1st* Basically this week was full of B Day shit for me...which was nice for a change...Monday I went bowling and had myself a nice sexy time...I didnt bowl, I mainly was minglin and talked with alot of people, just enjoyed the time...yes I got drunk...yes I had a goodtime...yes I was hungry for mongo that day but didnt get it *yet*,,Tuesday was I dont really rememeber as much besides I chilled out and didnt do a whole lot with anyone...oh wait...yeah I was depressed that day, man you gotta love that * not*....Feb 25th B Day Wendsday...honestly was just hectic...I mean I tried to convience everyone on that day, but I dont know if it worked out or not...I did my taxes...and had 32 people show up to Mongo for my B Day dinner...it was uber nuts....I couldnt really eat it though cause I was way to busy socializing and everything, I def did appreciate everyone coming out though....then we went to Jeffs for Wii Bowling but that was annoying since people just kept bagging on me...came home and chilled out for the rest of it...so nothing too extreme...Thursday Aaron and his gf came and got me and I hung out and Aarons for the night which was a solid time per usual...Friday us 3 rocked up to K Zoo and hung out at Waldos and did some shit up there for the day...which was a solid time...like we went to Sonic/Mall/Best Buy...then played some Video games...Saturday we went to this Shakesphere Bar which was solid....then Jenn got dropped off there and the 4 of us *myself, jenn, aarons gf, and aaron* all went to jenns dad..chilled there..then we ended up at Harpos with a bunch of mofos which was a funtime...I def enjoyed that time at the bowling alley...then we went to Steak and Shake and ate there *man that one is K Zoo is SO MUCH BETTER than the one in Livonia*..in the meantime...Shenda and Curtis offered us to go over there and hang out and crash for the night *well am since we got there at 3am more like morning* but we chilled for a hr and then we zonked out for ahwile...then we woke up and had chinese and I came on home after that....overall was a solid weekend with some solid memories out there...yeah its not the same *zip* if you wanna call it as some of the otther times...maybe cause things have changed....but its always nice to see people out there and see my friends who I cant see that ofton. Overall a solid ass week overall, had some good memories...some I wish to forget as well but it is what it is.
*March 2nd-March 8th* After a week I probably wont forget to a week that was....well...nothing really up and excitiing...I think this month has mainly the same theme...just me staying home most of the time...but this week I remember that monday going w/Leemer to Chillis to eat...came home and chilled w/alexis and watched the monday shows...nothin really that big happened that Tuesday...Wendsday I went to Culvers which was yummy, per usual...Friday I got paid my feds/state/unemployment all rolled up into one...WHOO HOO! $1,900...that was so nice...then most of it went to bills...mothafucka! lol...and shame on me cause I dont remember what I did all of that weekend of Daylight Savings time lol...oh wait...I stayed up to 7am Sat NIght/Sun Morning....Sunday I didnt do too much besides stay in and watched some NASCAR and hockey...but overall just a lame-o chill out week.
*March 9th-March 15* Mondsy was pay every single bill under man kind day...I spent $1,100 on Credit Cards to pay off and other shit...so that was a joyous time lol...but I got a new game *NBA 2k9*...and chilled up at home and enjoyed myself after a day going out and doing my thang...Tuesday was kinda shitty...we had to take a rental car back..Alexis was in a shitty mood, I was sick...yeah that day was terrible...the night part of it wasnt as bad but it still wasnt all that good of a day...Wendsday was a chill home day and just do the usual *do I need to re-explain that?*...then Thursday we had to go make a payment me and Joe *yeah its a little thing we call...well hehe u all get it*...and then after Wendys and shiz...went over to Jeffs for Wii Bowling...wasnt Wii bowling that much, but it was a goodtime nonetheless...then myself, brian, sean, and ryan went to Steak and Shake and had some food *stupid Livonia location* and I went home....Friday it was a dinner with me, leemer, and alexis at the Olive Garden and on our way over to Jeffs that night...where it was a UNO/Rock Band night...funtimes, no complaints...Saturday was a pretty solid day myself...I hung out here at the APT...then Toppa came down and hung out and myself, Toppa, and Alexis went to Ginger and had us some good ol chinese *yeeesaaahhhh* then me and Toppa made a apperence at TC Gators for Lori's B Day....and after that Toppa dropped me off and I did my usual...Sunday was pretty much me chilln at home when alexis went out and did her thing that day...ate some leftovers, watched some sports, played some video games...all was solid in the world I guess lol
Ok so thats the jist of mainly whats going in the past month...I feel stupid for not updating this shit more ofton...again been stupid and shit....hoping for another update on shit later on down the line here...like within the weekend...later
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